"The earth is round and it won’t stop revolving even if I wanted it to..." How many times have I thought of this? For a long time, I have been just responsive with life rather than living it the way I wanted it to be.

I have been self-centered and ego-centric in the past 8 years of my life… (Sadly, it took me that long to realize it.)

I believe that the masquerade started during my college days. During that time, I have been dwelling and was blinded on all the attention and care from everyone that I wished… I have been too confident knowing that if I want something I can get it. Well, they all indeed have come my way – a chance in love, a promising career and a taste of good life. But I guess I am not ready to any of these after all. Even how many times, I have tried, succeeded, fallen and stood-up in everything that I do I still cannot get it.

For years, my measurement of happiness is having a "happy ville" family, a "happy-ever-after" relationship and a "high-paying" job. I have forgotten myself, my childhood dreams, my personal aspirations, and my true joy.

Now, I am not crying not because of any failure, rejection or misery. My heart aches because I have forgotten myself. I have placed myself inside a box with all the pictures of other people’s so-called happy lives and my false assumptions of how my life should be.

For years, I know I have been living my life selfishly at some degree. I only love those who love me. I maybe kind and good-hearted but I know that that is not all that is in me. There is more to me than I let myself show and others see. I have forgotten to really listen to my heart. My heart just not beat when I am in love; my heart can give more sense and depth if I only did not confine it my own egoistic boundaries.

I cannot live my life within my own expectations more so on how others’ think. God has already set a journey for me. I have cheated by taking "shortcuts" which just kept me astray from my goal towards happiness. I already have what is really important in my life – my family, my friends, a good health and a good job. Finally, I thank God that my ride in life is back on track…

And, for all those that I have met in this lifetime or anyone who just happens to breathe the same air as I do, I welcome you in my journey... friends?! Ü